i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
