We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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