He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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