he thought i was a dude.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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