I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
