It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
