mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
