dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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