Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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