dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
