He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
PANTIES FOUND
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