I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
