And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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