I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
