he thought i was a dude.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
