Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
