I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
