This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
