ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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