I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
