When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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