i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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