can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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