Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
