Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
