have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
