i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
