this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
