Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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