she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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