Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
