We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
