How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
