Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
