you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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