So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
