She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
