Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
