Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
