im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
