i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
