Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
