did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
