Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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