I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize