I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
