he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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