just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize