the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
