what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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