i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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