your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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