Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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