Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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