There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
