I don't think brook has ever known best
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
