I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
