Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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