Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
