We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize