i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In other news, I just burned my penis
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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