I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
