Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
