The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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