Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
