How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize