Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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