Will you blow on my dice?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
