Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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